Updated December 30, 2005

Heller on political correctness:
We're not even Americans anymore. We've got labels. Native American. African-American. Irish American. My dog, I guess, is a Mutt American. My cat is a Pain-in-the-Butt American.

Heller on the myth that pro golf is tougher than hacker golf:
If Greg Norman can hit par (or even the ball) after three or four Budweisers, then I'll think he's a great golfer.

Heller on the joys of childbirth:
Personally, I couldn't watch. While the doctor was working on the south end of my wife, I kept my eyes glued squarely on the north.

Heller on his Upper Peninsula roots:
The proper way to end a sentence in the U.P. is to
A) Say, “Eh?” B) Say, “Ya know?” or C) Spit.

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